In honour of life

The truth.

i am messy. i start so many things and don't finish them all.
i don't save enough money. i used to bite my nails. i own too many
scarfs.

i don't think i will be able to live in Finland forever. i hate cleaning
paint brushes. at times i am insecure. i miss my daddy. i feel guilty
to often about things that don't matter.

i'm impulsive. i don't drink enough water. i love colourful things.
i like sending mail, as much as i like receiving it. sometimes i
can be really down, for no reason whatsoever.

i love flowers. i don't like roller coasters. i don't work out or play
any kind of sports. i've been planning to attend a yoga class for
months.

i am truly a dutch girl. i hate to admit that last statement. i'm
so freakin' excited that the speed ice skating season is about to begin
and that i can watch it online. i'm also kind of a nerd.

i miss living in the city i hated for so long. i sometimes feel
really small. i can't live without music. i want more adventure in
my life. i want to discover new places.

i sometimes feel that i'm not grateful enough. i should go out
more often. something shifted in 2004 and i haven't quite recovered yet.
i can't fix a bicycle tire. i don't like being an only child.

i often push the truth to the background. i'm to scarred to
deal with the raw, the unknown. i've started to keep a journal,
one for writing. i've written down some raw truths in that journal
and found a voice within me that feels so very mine.