I've been everything but gentle with myself today. My mind was racing to answer all the questions I had, to account for the fact why I didn't do everything I planned to do today, again...
I wondered why I just sat on the couch. Why when I wanted to go to the beach and take photographs I ended up cycling around the neighbourhood and shopping for groceries. Why, when three books arrived from amazon today that have been on my wishlist for over a year, I felt quilty for buying them, after the initial joy.
Why?
I found the answer, or at least the source that has been keeping me back. I don't feel like discussing it here though, for the world to read. Not now, maybe later, maybe not.
It's hard to let carefully tucked away feelings surface, and when you finally allow them to come up they need looking after, before they can leave the nest and you can let go. So that's what I'm going to do. Look after those feelings, look after myself.
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