The phone call about my gran yesterday caught me off guard. In an instant the second Pentecost Day (we like extra days off here in Holland: there’s a second Easter Day, second Christmas Day etc.) came to a halt. I can’t even remember what I planned to do, all I know is that numbness took a hold of me and I just sat with it.
Today however, I feel the need to let go of this numbness within my heart. This means dealing with the current situation, but I don’t know how to do so. I don’t know if I should be sad, if I should be worried, if I should laugh or cry, hope or dream, let go or hold on.
I feel a longing to cry, to let go, to be held in strong arms that hold me together when I can’t do so myself.
But I don't.
As these strong arms belong to the same person I might have to let go of.
*update* There are no real changes in my gran's health. According to the doctor she has a really low blood pressure, her blood will be tested tomorrow. Hopefully we will know more after that. Thanks for all your prayers, I'll keep you posted.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments
Post a Comment