Time (edited)

As I sit here, writing these words, thoughts about my upcoming birthday go through my mind. In less than two months I will be turning 23. I know I’m young, I’m supposed to have a whole life in front of me, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. As Elizabeth Gilbert wrote when she talks about life passing by so fast:

"…My sense of helplessness was overwhelming. What I wanted to do was pull some massive emergency brake on the universe, (…) I wanted to call a time out, to demand that everybody just STOP until I could understand everything."

"Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death. Time- when pursued like a bandit- will behave like one; (…) At some point you have to stop because it won’t. You have to admit that you can’t catch it. That you’re not supposed to catch it. At some point (…) you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you."

Sometimes time goes by so fast, even though I’m doing everything I can to grab time by its but and sit it down. Nice and still….I wish.

I hate to admit it, but 'cause I worry so much about time passing by, I hardly live in the present. I look back, I look ahead, but I often forget to look at the here and now. I think I try to hard. I try to hard to find contentment in the present, so hard I can’t even see what’s right in front of me. Also I have a few dreams I would love the make reality and when I think of those dreams I think only of the reasons that stand in my way. So not the Secret.

This morning I was reading thru Keri Smith’s book Living Out Loud. She writes about creating your Unlimited Life Plan in order to set your intention and define your wants. A few things that are on the top of my Wish List are finding a spot on this planet where my heart is, where I want to raise my children, where I want to root. Also, I want to be a mom, a young mom (this is where the time -age- issue comes in and my inner critic too). Being a young mom includes me being in a loving and caring relationship.

I would love to learn about how you manifest your wishes and your dreams. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one out here that feels anxiety towards time and running out of it even though I’m in my early twenties. But deep down I know that can’t be true...

Edited to add: Have a lovely weekend!!!