Changes

The Traveller

Byways and bygone
And lone nights long
Sun rays and sea waves
And star and stone

Manless and friendless
No cave my home
This is my torture
My long nights, lone

- Maya Angelou

I’m going to travel. It is part of who I am. I can feel it in my body. All the signs are there, telling me to move. But if I would pack my bag today and leave, I would run instead of travel.

Even though I feel like I’ve come so far in these first months of the year, there are still some things to deal with. These last couple of days I’ve been wondering why instead of enjoying my vacation, only questions and guilt surfaced, not so much excitement and joy.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can only go away and feel free when I know that I’ll come back to a place I call home. Even though the house I live in doesn’t feel like my home at all, nor does the country I’m currently an inhabitant of, I do have to come back here for the time being. So I decided to stay home. For two reasons.

The first reason is to declutter my home. To clean and get rid of all the negative energy in order to feel more at ease during the time I'm 'stuck' here.

The second reason has something to do with my plans for this summer. I want to travel to Northern America, or at least to the USA. I feel it is time for me to go there now, it has been on my mind for quit some time. So, by staying home now I’m saving much needed money for the USA trip!

***

There are twelve days left before I have to get back to work. I want to make an effort to change or explore at least one thing a day that has kept me from fully living in the present. Simultaneously I’m starting with the Artist’s Way. I bought the book today along with this book by SARK. The lovely lady at the counter gave me some brochures with the books. When I got home I found out why. One brochure was about yoga and meditation, the other about workshops at the bookstore. To make a long story short, during the month of May I’ll be attending a series of Poetry and writing in English workshops! Hopefully I can report back here in the coming days with more yummy changes!