Grumpiness and other things

Let's talk about grumpiness. I think there are two types of grumpiness. The one you feel inside but can ignore without any effort and the one that is hard to keep for yourself. I have both, every so often and it is starting to bug me. I've been trying to think of ways to make me feel better. To not take the grumpiness, when it surfaces, out on someone else. And while most of the time this is going well, there are times that I wish I'd do better.

If I think of the moments that the grumpiness rears its ugly face and I can't seem to punch its nose, it is most often when I don't make a choice. This is a classic case of wanting to please everybody. I get this from my dad.  Even with little things, like buying groceries, going out, picking a movie etc. I almost always have a hard time to acknowledge my preference. To be honest, most of the time I really don't care. I'm fine with 'whatever' and if someone else has a preference let's just go with that. But there are times when I do want to make a certain choice, but I don't. And of course, like any normal human being I blame it on the person standing next to me...

It's the same with asking for help. Not one of my strong points. Being grumpy because someone isn't helping me, when I do need it, but I never asked for it. Only a few words can prevent this case of grumpiness: Can you help me please. Sometimes asking for help feels like a weakness, that is of course not true at all. Other times something is so clear to you; can no one else see that you need help? But if you don't ring the bell and keep on smiling, how is anyone to know that something is the matter?

So these are the things I'm struggling with. I'm trying to change this. Trying to express what I want, how I feel and ask for help. It's not always easy. Do you recognise these feelings? And if so, how do you cope with this? Would love to hear your thoughts.